My gas cap is not my butt, mitchell.

My gas cap won't close. Wonder if that's a bad thing....

People keep leaving car wash and auto repair cards on my car, i wonder if thats a hint...

My gas cap won't close, i wonder if that is dangerous

Another day, another 25 lbs. of jasmine rice

The Cat food smells better than mine

Cat Medicine, in cat ear, via ....my finger

"Who's that deep manly voice?" - customer

Your don't have baby cheeks, you have cheek butt

My Viet Barber wants to make me a popstar

It's 5am. I smelly like Glue

jay zee got a job (not rapping)

TIM = Tivoli Identity Manager

I believe in excessive moderation

I did not ever use steroids. Except for now

I want to stab my mid section

its 3am: itch attack

there's always those fatal flaws

32L legs + 30L pants + crew socks = ankle chills

Girls are weird.

the only thing that my ruler cannot measure is my capability of losing measurement tools

my desk is a black hole for sharpies

If your actions speak louder than words, then maybe you aren't yelling enough

Does using a phone to keep track of my life, calculate my bills, and look for information make me a Cyborg?

My brain has space for 4 things with out using paper

The last hour is always the longest.

I am allergic to my bed

I have a disease called buddy and corey

China: We make things cheap